


Captains and their Handlers

by gaydistriss, keijisramen



Series: texting 101 [6]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Chaos, Drunk Texting, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Texting, more tags to come
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:48:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 1,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27531769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaydistriss/pseuds/gaydistriss, https://archiveofourown.org/users/keijisramen/pseuds/keijisramen
Summary: Flat: YOU MESSED UP THE FLOWDeadchi: can’t help it I’m ✨dead✨farm boi: saying it with sparkles doesn’t make it better
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou/Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Akaashi Keiji/Kozume Kenma, Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Series: texting 101 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1818958
Comments: 26
Kudos: 150





	1. Cool Caps😎✨

_Kuroo has added brokuto, deadchi, flat, farm boi to the chat_

_Kuroo has labeled it Cool Caps😎✨_

Kuroo: we are the cool caps😌😌

  
  


brokuto: HEY HEY HEY

  
  


flat: um,,,, I think you got my name wrong?

  
  


Kuroo: that’s what it was in deadchis phone 

  
  


_Flat has changed Kuroo’s name to rooster head_

  
  


rooster head: bitch

  
  


flat: its what you deserve 凸ಠ益ಠ)凸

  
  


Farm Boi: okay but how do you change the names

  
  


Rooster: r u a boomer

  
  


Farm boi: is Oikawa here

  
  


Flat: tf do you want

  
  


Farm boi: come to shiratorizawa

  
  


Flat: NO

  
  


flat: LEAVE

  
  


Farm boi: I don’t understand why you didn’t go to shiratorizawa

  
  


Flat: because you’re a ✨stalker✨

  
  


farm boi: saying it with sparkles doesn’t make it better 

  
  


Brokuto: o h

  
  


Rooster: o h

  
  


Deadchi: oh

  
  


Flat: o h

  
  


Flat: GODDAMNIT DAICHI

  
  


Deadchi: what

  
  


Flat: YOU MESSED UP THE FLOW

  
  


Deadchi: can’t help it I’m ✨dead✨

  
  


farm boi: saying it with sparkles doesn’t make it better 2: electric boogaloo

  
  


Deadchi: isn’t that what the kids do? Idk 

  
  


Rooster: LMAO IM TELLING KENMA

  
  


Deadchi: why did I just get a text from tsukishima saying “ok boomer”

  
  


Deadchi: what does this mean

  
  


Flat: I would expect this from ushi not you. Thank god for mr. refreshing 

  
  


Brokuto: keep it to yourself, that’s embarrassing..

  
  


Rooster: with all the stupid things you do?

  
  


Brokuto: ……………… you do them too …………

  
  


Rooster: that’s irrelevant

  
  


Brokuto: is it tho

  
  


Rooster: read 5:41


	2. captains 😳😍🥵

_ Suga has added pretty setter, kodzuken, miracle boy, bara arms to the chat _

_ Suga has labeled it captains 😳😍🥵 _

Suga: welcome! (^-^*)/

  
  


Pretty setter: none of us are captains tho? 

  
  


Suga: I know that stupid, this is a support group for people pining over their wonderful captains~~

  
  


Bara arms: HEH?? I DON’T PINE OVER SHITTYKAWA

  
  


Kodzuken: mhm

  
  


Pretty setter: I don’t …..

  
  


Kodzuken: can I leave now 

  
  


Pretty setter: no

  
  


Bara arms: if shittykawa tries me ONE MORE TIME

  
  


Suga: what? You’ll fuck him?

  
  


Bara arms: ..……

  
  


Bara arms: no ill fight him

  
  


Miracle boy: is that what we’re calling it now?

  
  


Pretty setter: apparently.

  
  


Suga: besides the point, the captains though😜😩😘👀

  
  


Kodzuken: fucking simp

  
  


Pretty setters: is this a chat full of bottoms?

  
  


Bara arms: I’m not a bottom….

  
  


Miracle boy: ooh?

  
  


Kodzuken: bold of you to assume I like sex

  
  


Pretty setter: you do 👀

  
  


Kodzuken: ……………

  
  


Bara arms: ……………how

  
  


Miracle boy: do………

  
  


Suga: ……you

  
  


Suga: know………

  
  


Bara arms: ………that……

  
  


Pretty setter: that’s a secret I’ll never tell ❤️

  
  


Kodzuken: cjdjcdjncnissnckdnfdifnd

  
  


Miracle boy: 👀

  
  


Bara arms: 👀👀

  
  


Suga: 👀👀👀

  
  


Kodzuken: stfu geez. Bye its time for my game

  
  


Pretty setter: if i have to stay so do you 

  
  


Kodzuken: yes ✨️daddy✨️

  
  


Pretty setter: no 

  
  


Suga: 🤡 akaashi are you a top-

  
  


Pretty setter: eh… a switch 👀

  
  


Kodzuken: can confirm 

  
  


Bara arms: 👀

  
  


Miracle boy: SUS

  
  


Pretty setter: he just walked in..

  
  


Suga: n e ways i added u all for a reason

  
  


Suga: im craving ✨chaos✨

  
  


Bara arms: … 

  
  


Bara arms: why?

  
  


Suga: just cuz 😋


	3. 🤪🤪🤪

_ Suga has added Rooster, brokuto, deadchi, flat, farm boi, pretty setter, kodzuken, miracle boy, bara arms to the chat _

_ Suga has labeled it 🤪🤪🤪 _

Suga: GUYS

  
  


Suga: let’s play a game

  
  


Deadichi: no

  
  


Bara arms: no

  
  


Kodzuken: no

  
  


Pretty setter: no

  
  


Brokuto: AGHAASHEEE

  
  


Pretty setter: hello bokuto-san

  
  


Flat: what game, refreshing-kun? 

  
  


Suga: thank you, oikawa

  
  


Suga: FMK!!

  
  


Miracle boy: YES

  
  


Rooster: this is a bad idea but what the hell

  
  


Rooster: i'm in

  
  


Suga: YAYY

  
  


Suga: ok kuroo, fmk kenma, akaashi, and bokuto

  
  


Rooster: i dont like this game

  
  


Kodzuken: you said you’re in, now choose

  
  


Rooster: THIS IS TOO MUCH PRESSURE IM GONNA DIE

  
  


Pretty setter: 🔫choose wisely

  
  


Rooster: AHHH FUCK BO MARRY KENMA KILL AKAASHI

  
  


Brokuto: AW BRO YOU’D FUCK ME???

  
  


Brokuto: ID FUCK YOU TOO 💗💗

  
  


Flat: you forgot the no homo

  
  


Kodzuken: no, no he didn't… unfortunately. 🤡 

  
  


Brokuto: i didnt hear you complaining before 

  
  


Pretty setter: MOVING ON

  
  


Miracle boy: what’s that supposed to mean

  
  


Pretty setter: I SAID MOVING ON

  
  


Pretty setter: oikawa, fmk iwaizumi, ushijima, daichi

  
  


Flat: kill ushiwaka, obviously

  
  


Farm boi: why is that obvious

  
  


Flat: hmm fuck daichi and marry iwa-chan!!

  
  


Bara arms: i don’t want to marry you shittykawa

  
  


Flat: too bad! You dont get a choice teehee

  
  


Kodzuken: moving on again,,,,, Akaashi fmk bokuto, daichi and ushiwaka.

  
  


Rooster: thanks for not putting me there😤

  
  


Pretty setter: kill kuroo-san

  
  


Rooster: HEY

  
  


Brokuto: HEY HEY HEY

  
  


kodzuken: I ASKED A MF QUESTION I AM PARTICIPATING SO SHUT UP😤

  
  


Brokuto: oh…. 😭

  
  


Pretty setter: uh marry bokuto-san.

  
  


Rooster: ohohoho?

  
  


Pretty setter: i wont hesitate bitch

  
  


Pretty setter: and fuck kenma 😘

  
  


Kodzuken: 😘

  
  


Rooster: HEY WHAT

  
  


Farm boi: akaashi-kun i don’t believe you followed the rules of the game

  
  


Miracle boy: its ok toshi, they’re playing their own version

  
  


Deadchi: and which version would that be?

  
  


Suga: the ust version 🤪✊😩

  
  


Bara arms: the what?

  
  


Rooster: don’t worry abt it

  
  


Flat: okay but daichi do be fine af.. not as fine as iwachan or mr. refreshing though 😌😩

  
  


Flat: why not kill ushiwaka ✨✨✨✨

  
  


Kodzuken: Akaashi you know where ill be😘😘

  
  


Rooster: I DONT LIKE THIS GAME 

  
  


pretty setter: fine, marry bokuto-san, fuck daichi, idk ushiwaka enough to say kill 

  
  


Kodzuken: so you can mess around with your bro but when your bros bro wants to mess around it ain’t cool 😩 understood 

  
  


Rooster: what language was that

  
  


Brokuto: bro 😎 

  
  


Pretty setter: next

  
  


Pretty setter: suga!! fmk daichi, oikawa, tendou

  
  


Suga: marry daichi 🥰🥰

  
  


Deadchi: what

  
  


Kodzuken: obviously

  
  


Rooster: WHAT

  
  


Suga: kill oikawa 😘

  
  


Flat: wHY

  
  


Pretty setter: next question 💅🏼

  
  


Suga: and fuck tendou 😍

  
  


Miracle boy: 😍

  
  


Farm boi: what

  
  


Suga: what

  
  


Brokuto: so tendou is red headed me

  
  


Pretty setter: …… less owl…

  
  


Brokuto: and iwaizumi is italics of Akaashi 

  
  


Pretty setter: I hate this

  
  


Brokuto: so i think tendou and iwaizumi would be a cute couple!!

  
  


Pretty setter: WHAT

  
  


Bara arms: WHAT

  
  


Miracle boy: WHAT

  
  


Kodzuken: r u implying what i think you’re implying…

  
  


Pretty setter: KENMA

  
  


Kodzuken: DMS NOW

  
  


Pretty setter: oKAY AHHHH

  
  


Rooster: what


	4. private message between pretty setter & kodzuken

_ Private message _

Kodzuken: so was he saying y’all would be a good couple too…...… shoot your shot👀

  
  


Pretty setter: dndskskemec no❤️

  
  


Pretty setter: I could never

  
  


Kodzuken: dude why not

Kodzuken: have you seen the way he looks at you?

  
  


Kodzuken: 🪢🪢🪢

  
  


Pretty setter: you’re one to talk

  
  


Pretty setter: you could literally look at Kuroo and he will do anything for you

  
  


Kodzuken: whatever wanna make out

  
  


Pretty setter: 🏃🏻‍♂️💨

  
  


Kodzuken: is that a yes,,,,

  
  


Kodzuken: we should probably mute the group chat or tell them we aren’t playing 🤫

  
  


Pretty setter: yeah..

  
  


Pretty setter: wait, wont they get suspicious?

  
  


Kodzuken: those two clowns? No.

  
  


Pretty setter: I meant everyone else

  
  


Kodzuken: oh. Idk idc. I want them lips😩

  
  


Pretty setter: needy much?

  
  


Kodzuken: YOUR LIPS ARE SO SOFT OK AND YOU'RE SO PRETTY LET ME LIVE

  
  


pretty setter: alright then


	5. 🤪🤪🤪

_ 🤪🤪🤪 _

Kodzuken: Akaashi and I will not be participating, bye

  
  


Rooster: WHY 

  
  


rooster: TF COME BACK. I'LL BUY YOU GAMES

  
  


brokuto: bro nice

  
  


Rooster: thanks bro

  
  


Suga: ok bye guys use protection!!

  
  


Brokuto: WAIT WDYM PROTECTION

  
  


Farm boi: i believe they are about to have sex

  
  


Pretty setter: 😉

  
  


Rooster: WHAT

  
  


Brokuto: WHAT

  
  


Flat: LMAO YOU DIDN'T NOTICE THE VIBE 

  
  


deadchi: careful now, you can’t afford to lose anymore ass

  
  


Bara arms: are we ignoring ushiwaka knowing they are about to fuck

  
  


Rooster: ARE WE IGNORING THEYRE GOING TO FUCK

  
  


Rooster: MY KENMA 

  
  


Suga: oh?

  
  


Miracle boy: jealousy 🤔 

  
  


Rooster: STOP AKAASHI IS TOO PRETTY I CAN'T COMPETE 

  
  


kodzuken: at least you know 

  
  


Rooster: KENMA 

  
  


Brokuto: it’s true he is

  
  


Deadchi: ouch

  
  


Suga: moving on… we’ll ask them when they come back

  
  


Rooster: UM NO NOT MOVING ON

  
  


Brokuto: AKAASHI AND KENMA??? I THOUGHT THEY- WAIT it makes sense tho

  
  


Farm boi: does it really?

  
  


Brokuto: no…..

  
  


Rooster: bro you know what I think

  
  


Brokuto: what

  
  


Rooster: WE SPY ON THEM

  
  


Suga: i wouldn't-

  
  


Brokuto: DUDE YOU'RE SO SMART

  
  


Bara arms: guys-

  
  


Rooster: I'M COMING OVER DUDE GET IN THE CAR

  
  


Bara arms: guys… don't 

  
  


Brokuto: KUBRO IM READY WHERE U

  
  


Rooster: IM OUTSIDE BO

  
  


suga: nani the fuck

  
  


Deadchi: guys,,, did you think about this?

  
  


Flat: bold of you to assume they can think

  
  


Rooster: what's there to think about??

  
  


Miracle boy: i give up

  
  


Miracle boy: if they dont get it by now sucks to suck 

  
  


Kodzuken: why the fuck is kuroo and bokuto outside

  
  


Bara arms: they got there….. that fast?? 

  
  


Kodzuken: WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY HERE 

  
  


Pretty setter: literally just scroll up babe its not that hard

  
  


Suga: babe?

  
  


Miracle boy: babe?

  
  


Flat: babe?

  
  


Rooster: BABE???

  
  


Brokuto: BABE??

  
  


Brokuto: AKGAASHHEE WHAT

  
  


Kodzuken: its a lot to read keiji :((

  
  


Rooster: KEIJI? !

  
  


Brokuto: KEIJI? !

  
  


Pretty setter: babe can be pet names or like something sweet ig

  
  


Brokuto: BABE? since when

  
  


Rooster: SINCE WHEN

  
  


flat: oh the tea is hot today my goodness 👀👀

  
  


Deadchi: i- 

  
  


Bara arms: stfu flattykawa

  
  


Kodzuken: why is everyone freaking out

  
  


Rooster: BECAUSE AKAASHI CALLED YOU BABE AND YOU SAID KEIJI

  
  


Pretty setter: i didn't give you permission to use my first name ♥️

  
  


Suga: o h

  
  


Brokuto: o h

  
  


Kodzuken: its either keiji or ✨️daddy✨️

  
  


Pretty setter: babe i told you not to-

  
  


Brokuto: DADDY? ! 

  
  


Rooster: who would've thought 

  
  


Suga: not me

  
  


Deadchi: not me

  
  


Flat: i lowkey see it tho, iwachan and akaashi give same energy 

  
  


Bara arms: stfu

  
  


Flat: AM I WRONG? 

  
  


Bara arms: stop

  
  


Flat: sorry daddy 

  
  


Bara arms: OIKAWA

  
  


Suga: YES OIKAWA GET IT

  
  


Bara arms: NO

  
  


Suga: NO? WHY

  
  


Kodzuken: rooster and brokuto go away im busy

  
  


Pretty setter: we're *

  
  


Kodzuken: right 

  
  


Deadchi: suga don't get involved anymore. 

  
  


Suga: okay.

  
  


Miracle boi: oh? 

  
  


Bara arms: oH

  
  


Brokuto: what are we ohing

  
  


Brokuto: oho oho


	6. short chp oops

Brokuto: oho oho

  
  


bara arms: they're hopeless 

  
  


pretty setter: yeah… sometimes

  
  


kodzuken: all the time tf

  
  


pretty setter: babe I was being 💫nice💫

  
  


kodzuken: 💫 w h y 💫

  
  


rooster: KENMA USING EMOJIS?!?

  
  


brokuto: AKAASHI USING EMOJIS ANSJDJD

  
  


pretty setter: ………...wanna go back to making out..?

  
  


kodzuken: hell yeah

  
  


flat: I feel like we're interrupting 😳

  
  


suga: me too omg

  
  


rooster: no kenma answer the door

  
  


kodzuken: no

  
  


pretty setter: no 


	7. Chaos

rooster: damn if you wanted to break up u coulda just said so

  
  


kodzuken: ,,,

  
  


pretty setter: omg what

  
  


kodzuken: so you fool around with bokuto and im supposed to be okay with it but when I fool around with Akaashi its not cool im-

  
  


suga: 😳 should you guys talk in PM-

  
  


deadchi: don't get involved suga.

  
  


flat: how tf are we supposed to ignore it

  
  


pretty setter: honestly not a clue whats happening 

  
  


brokuto: what if we just…. all date….

  
  


bara arm: ………

  
  


suga: …..

  
  


brokuto: no not you all… kuroo, Kenma. Akaashi and i….

  
  


pretty setter: …

  
  


kodzuken: ….

  
  


rooster: ok

  
  


kodzuken: whAT

  
  


Pretty setter: I mean it could work…?

  
  


Kodzuken: WHAT?!

  
  


Rooster: what aren’t you understanding?

  
  


Suga: the entire thing tbh

  
  


Flat: damn I can’t even get iwachan to text me back 😔✌️

  
  


Bara arms: stfu


	8. Chapter 8

Kodzuken: I think that’s the smartest thing bokutos ever said tbh

  
  


Pretty setter: 👁👄👁

  
  


Rooster: STOP USING EMOJIS ITS WEIRD

  
  


pretty setter: you’re weird

  
  


Kodzuken: nice come back 

  
  


Pretty setter: no more kisses for you then

  
  


Brokuto: is that a yes then?

  
  


Pretty setter: no it’s no more kisses for kozume

  
  


Kodzuken: ew gross call me Kenma jfc 

  
  


Rooster: so are we in agreement?

  
  


Suga: oh for the love of snow just say yes and move on 

  
  


Kodzuken: 👁👄👁 well now I don’t want to

  
  


Pretty setter: I suppose.

  
  


Brokuto: ALRIGHT!

  
  


Bara arms: jfc

  
  


Flat: Iwa-chan~~~~

  
  


Bara arms: no ❤️


	9. Chapter 9

Deadchi: okay this was fun and all but are we gonna get back to the game or

  
  


Miracle boi: sure thing deadchi. Who’s next

  
  


Farm boi: Tendou, kmf daichi, oikawa and owl boy

  
  


Brokuto: AM I OWL BOY????? 

  
  


Pretty setter: You're like a puppy pls

  
  


Miracle boi: Kill oikawa :))))) uh date puppy boy and marry ushi :)))

  
  


Bara arms: and I thought Oikawa was a narcissist. 

  
  


Miracle boi: ????

  
  


Bara arms: you pretty much said you’d date yourself just in a different font.

  
  


Miracle boi: 👁👄👁 o h

  
  


Flat: iwachan :(((

bara arms: don’t start

farm boi: marry me?

miracle boi: yes of course ushi 

farm boi: interesting 

**Author's Note:**

> enjoy the chaos


End file.
